Wednesday, January 7, 2015

Pregnancy body image- 8 months along

When I wrote my first post about my body image during pregnancy, I looked like this (23ish weeks):

Oh your boobs are huge and you look like you've had a big lunch? Please complain more, past me. Future me hates you.

And now, it's more like this (32 weeks): 
I cut off my head because I have a cold and look like Rudolph.

I wish that me 2 months ago who thought that I was "OMG SO HUGE" could relish in being tiny. My butt had not yet expanded thoroughly. My thighs probably weren't constantly fighting with each other. The back fat/bra battle was not being valiantly fought each day. Those were the good ol' days.

So... I'm having some issues. My weight gain is still totally reasonable but I think the water retention has really taken off in the last week or so. I'm suddenly feeling awful and heavy and thick. At least this time, I KNOW I will get significantly bigger in the coming weeks instead of thinking I already had a big old belly and was so super pregnant. With 7 weeks to go, I'm gaining ~1 lb a week and the baby is gaining 0.5 lb a week! Getting chubby and adorable (the baby, not me). 

I'm still trying to stay active as much as possible because that makes me feel better and seems to keep the puffiness in my legs to a minimum. However, exercise is hard lately. My shins are getting sore. I probably definitely need new shoes but I'm not sure if my foot size is going to stay consistent after pregnancy (they've grown about a half size. Fun.). I also get out of breath from doing silly things, like walking up a flight of stairs or rolling over in bed. That feeling of slowness permeates all activities.

The baby keeps me on track. Knowing that exercise and good nutrition are essential for his/her development keeps me from straying too far on days when I am tempted to undereat. I am aware it sounds ridiculous, selfish, disordered that the thought would even cross my mind, but it does. Pregnancy does not magically make the negativity go away, for me at least. Trying on maternity clothes, which I am convinced aren't actually made for anyone >7 months pregnant, made me feel horrible. 

I'll keep doing what I'm doing and gaining weight like a champ, but will I also buy pregnancy Spanx for my upcoming company party and hang from my upside down all day so my cankles become a reasonable size (mostly kidding). I will do everything in my power to feel good about myself during this challenging time. Luckily, I get kicked all the time so I have a constant reminder of the little life I'm responsible for nurturing. 

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