Thursday, March 27, 2014

Bad habits

At the beginning of 2012, I tried to do a cute little "goal a week" deal, where I set mini-goals in order to break bad habits. I totally lost sight of that, which is probably good. Although it was well intentioned, my actual bad habits are way worse than "eats too much work candy." Let's discuss.

I make faces at people if they're rude to me.
Example: Person A is approaching me in the hallway at work. We make eye contact, I smile, nod, and sometimes say "hi." Person A ignores me. When he passes me, I make a really terrible face.
Holy wrinkles. Holy chin. Holy... wow I really learned a lot about myself by taking this picture.

Which, whatever, I'm rude, that's the least of my problems. The issue is when I've been focusing on Person A, and I should have noticed that he has Person B behind him. And I've just contorted my face at that person. I also make this face when someone doesn't hold the door for me, or fails to say thank you if I hold the door for him. I am amazed the muscles I use to make this face aren't all bulgey, because I do it all the time.

I still haven't met a bag of chips I won't eat in one sitting.
Potato. Tortilla. Gluten-free lentil. I will eat them all. I really don't know why the self-control break down happens specifically around chip-type things. I mean, I also have problems with ice cream, even faux ice cream, but I am able to engage my frontal lobe in some higher order decision-making and stop myself from killing a whole container in one sitting. With chips? All bets are off.

If someone is trying to talk to me in the bathroom, I am unable to pee.
I guess this isn't a bad habit. Hell, it's not even something I want to change about myself because WHY is someone even trying to talk to me in the bathroom? The worst is the extended talk.. when I'm done, and the other person isn't, and yet we're still conversing for some reason while my mind gets a chance to imagine why she's taking so long to fasten her pants. Long shirt? Complicated underwear? Tight pants? JUST LET ME LEAVE THE BATHROOM.

I'm judgey.
As if you hadn't already figured that out by my previous bullets. The thing is, I will judge someone, then feel bad about it, then come up with some justification for why they're doing what they're doing (She has her finger halfway up her nose because she has a cold! He loves Nickelback because he has literally never heard another band in his life.) then continue judging anyways. This is something I actually want to change about myself because 1) it's not nice and 2) it's incredibly tiring. Going around thinking mean things about people (see my first point, about the face-making) is not a fun way to live. Trying to go through life without a hidden set of criteria that the people around me are constantly not meeting sounds like a better way to spend my days. I think I'll try that.

Are you a terrible person too? Cool, let's be friends. At least we'll go into the friendship knowing we're both awful people. And then I'll eat all your chips.


  1. I judge people, too. Behind their backs. And I roll my eyes at people, including my customers (who are always right, I'm told).

    1. Haha, I worked retail for years and had the damndest time holding my tongue... entitled people are the worst.